A Shotgun is better than a Man because…

  1. You can have more than one shotgun at a time and nobody thinks that’s scandalous.
  2. When you are thinking of buying a shotgun, you can try it out before you commit.
  3. When you want to get rid of a shotgun, you can sell it.
  4. When travelling in a car, your shotgun never insists on driving.
  5. When travelling in a car, you lock your shotgun in the boot. It doesn’t sit in the passenger seat making comments about your driving style.
  6. Your shotgun is always hard.
  7. You can use your shotgun in the open air even when there are other people around.
  8. You can lend your shotgun to a friend and no-one thinks that’s kinky.
  9. You and a group of friends can all take your shotguns out and use them together, and that’s regarded as perfectly normal.
  10. You can reload a shotgun in seconds.
  11. When you’ve finished with your shotgun for the moment, you just clean it and put it away until you need it again.
  12. When you’re not using your shotgun, you can lock it in a cabinet.
  13. If you buy a new shotgun, your old shotgun doesn’t get jealous.
  14. If you get rid of your old shotgun, it never stalks you or makes nasty comments about your shooting ability to your friends.
  15. With a shotgun, you can keep banging for as long as you have ammunition.
  16. If you travel on public transport with your shotgun, you don’t have to buy an extra ticket.
  17. You can have different shotguns for different purposes.
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